Coachella was a non-negotiable week of April for nearly the last decade for me when it came to anyone I dated or worked for. I didn't care what else was going on that week - I was going to be there. That no longer rings true this year, with a mediocre lineup that offers little that the competition doesn't, and I don't see myself returning unless the festival returns more to its roots, which seems unlikely in the near future. I don't necessarily blame the festival, which has been forced to shift its bookings to accommodate Coachella as a brand, but the focus is no longer about the guitar-based tastes of longtime attendees. So this review is more of a helpful guide to the intricacies of the festival. You're going to have a great time.
Yes, it's hot. Depending on your weather luck, the daily high could be between 80-110. There are plenty of tented tables and stages. Unless you camp, the walk from the parking or shuttle lot (parking is free, but the shuttle is nice if you're staying at a hotel near a shuttle stop) is a long haul, and this brings me to my first word of advice - WEAR A BANDANA. Especially on the second weekend, tons of dust gets kicked up from worn-down grass. A few years have had wind storms too. I think my first 5 Coachellas were followed by a week-long hay fever until I finally perfected a dust-protecting formula, which also includes a neti pot every night (you will be stunned by how much black gunk comes out of your nose), but the most effective solution of all is an extremely simple one. BLOW YOUR NOSE EVERY HOUR. Every time you use the bathroom, grab a few squares and blow your nose. Gets the gunk out quickly before it settles.
I'd suggest arriving before 2pm to avoid the lines, and the best music discoveries often take place before then too. Having seen a massive artist today at 1pm in the Gobi Tent 8 years ago is a great feeling, knowing that you contributed to their rise. What I like about Coachella's stage placement is how even though they aren't placed far apart, I rarely experience sound bleed between stages. They're also careful to mix up the genres on each stage, which encourages people moving around and not clogging up stages for the big fans of each artist. The one exception is the dance-based Sahara Tent, which the teenagers who are trying ecstasy for the first time like to hide out in all day, which is nice since it keeps them away from the rest of us (I've heard stories about suffocating crowds in there, but if you pay $450 to watch DJ's who play every weekend in Vegas press "Play" for 3 days, you probably deserve a terrible experience). Close placement also means even when artists you want to see overlap, you don't have to miss as much of their sets as you would at other festivals (looking at you, Lollapalooza). I really wish non-headliners received more than 50 minutes apiece, though, which short-changes everyone. The sound quality is mostly great, and even the hiccups at the Outdoor Theater have improved over the years.
The food used to be mediocre but has improved, with more stands from established restaurants. The craft beer garden secretly has some of the best food too. There are also Heineken gardens near two of the stages, but they're bottlenecks to get in and out of, and worst of all, you're stuck with Heineken. Large-scale art installations little the polo fields, though the quality of these have taken a hit the last few years. The corporate presence is unsurprisingly increasing, and though Coachella resists naming its stages after Bud Light and Mercedes like its competitors, part of me wonders if prices would be cheaper if it just full-on gave in to sponsorship.
Since its switch to two weekends, I've never been psychotic enough to do both weekends in one year, but I did Weekend 2 for the first time in 2014, and I was fully converted. Weekend 1 is a scene kid fiasco. This is when the celebrities who are paid to be at Coachella just to show off fashion brands are in attendance, which means the dumb kids who just want to "be seen" arrive en masse. These people aren't there for the music. I had a Weekend 1 experience where people started rushing the barricade and knocking people down to hi-five David Hasselhoff. Weekend 2 has a much more relaxed vibe, and even the bands seem to be less high-strung, not feeling eager to please the press. The staff also knows what they're doing by then, meaning shorter lines.
Oh, one final thing. VIP is a scam. You get nothing extra. It's always hilarious to see the people who refuse to ever leave the VIP area, which is a mile away from the main stage. Contrary to popular belief, those extra viewing areas near each stage are guest passes (friends of artists and promoters). They are NOT VIP. So don't worry, the VIP's are just paying triple the price for the same experience.
My time at Coachella may or may not have passed, but it gave me some of the best experiences of my life. -BRI